So today is Day One, take two. Yes, it’s going to take me a while to get back on track. Yes, it’s going to be a giant pain in the butt and gut. But also - in the long run, it’s going to be worth it. This year has not been kind or friendly or even polite in its obscene desire to turn my life upside down, but I will not let this year get the better of me. I am tempted to say ‘Screw it’ and go bake a cake. I am. But today is not Friday and therefor, not my cheat day so I won’t. Today, I will get back on the bike, I will face off with the heavy bag, and I will feel better for it. Eventually.
Food wise - I imagine it’ll be an ok kind of day, if I can keep my eyes open and my stupid desire for junk food curbed. I want salty foods and chocolate and fruit sweet things. I may give in to all those cravings a little bit - just not to the extent that I wish to do so. I am doing this for myself so it shouldn’t be as hard as it is. But it is.
If, in one month, I have managed to make this work, I’ll treat myself. Maybe I’ll go get my hair done or buy something shiny. I’ll go day by day, week by week, month by month, until I am where I want to be. I will not feel guilty for having an off day (or two months). I will not berate myself because I quite simply have not had the will or the desire or the motivation to do what needs doing. I will simply try to do better. Can’t do much more than that in the long run anyway.
